No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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