she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
