Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
