I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
