I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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