it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
