So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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