dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
