I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
