And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
