found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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