You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
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his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
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I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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