I faked an abortion last night.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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