If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
