I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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