do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
