they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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