and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
