Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
