Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Are my feet made of real feet?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
