TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
