and you said cock pushups were impossible
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
