so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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