i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
