Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
