Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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