I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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