it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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