I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
