this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
