he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
