It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
