Will you blow on my dice?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just blew my weed a kiss
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
