OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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