guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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