Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
It was confusing and full of hummus
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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