so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You may now shotgun with the bride
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
