Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Randomize
