You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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