Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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