Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize