do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
