I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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