actually, I'm a sock model
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
