As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
