Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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