put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
