In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize