just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
