when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
