i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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