Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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