ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
they're like a gay fantastic four
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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