I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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