If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize