i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
