I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
