Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Randomize
